The moment Eun-seong’s father appeared with a lawyer in tow, the atmosphere inside the police station changed completely. 

The busy station suddenly felt as if it had fallen into an unnatural silence. Before the lawyer even finished saying things like,

"We’ll handle this matter this way,"

and

"That will be processed like that,"

Eun-seong emerged from the inner office.

"Eun-seong."

Hye-yeon rose from her seat. And a beat later, someone else hurried over in search of him.

"I’m sorry I’m late."

It was a man called Manager Jung. Aside from the faint smile he gave when he saw Hye-yeon, Eun-seong kept his eyes low and frighteningly cold as he scanned his surroundings. It felt like he was standing in the middle of a battlefield.

"I’ll take over from here and handle everything myself,"

Manager Jung said, handing his business card to the police officer. 

Before the officer could even react, Eun-seong’s father snatched the card and tore it to pieces.

"The guardian’s already here. Why make things complicated?"

He said he’d taken care of everything and told Manager Jung to go back.

"But—"

Manager Jung shot Eun-seong an uneasy look. Eun-seong, whose lip was split and already crusted over with a scab, bit down once before nodding at him. 

At that, Manager Jung stepped back, saying he would be in touch. Eun-seong’s father scattered the torn pieces of the business card at Manager Jung and told him to get lost.

'What is all this?'

From that moment on, Hye-yeon felt something was definitely off. Time flew by. 

When the noisy chaos of the world finally settled and she came back to her senses, Hye-yeon and Eun-seong were already standing together outside the police station. Everything had moved at lightning speed.

So fast it was almost unbelievable.

"We’ve reached a settlement with the other student’s side as well."

According to what Jungwon had said earlier, Hyunwoo had been hospitalized for days, grinding his teeth and threatening to sue Eun-seong. With a broken arm, they had done every possible test, including X-rays. That had been barely an hour ago.

"Attorney Kim went directly to the hospital room to speak with the parents. Director Choi also apologized, saying he was sorry his son caused such concern."

Standing in front of the car, Eun-seong’s father slipped a cigarette between his lips and asked casually,

"So he’s hospitalized at Director Choi’s hospital?”

"Yes.”

"Must be H Hospital, then."

Watching the two parents speak directly on the phone, as if they already knew each other, Hye-yeon suddenly felt small and out of place just standing there. That memory resurfaced. The day she had gone to her roommate’s house.

"……"

Eun-seong said nothing. When Hye-yeon looked up at him with a pale face, he gave her a look that seemed to say it was fine, but that was all. 

With his expression stiff and blank, the man looked just as heavy and cold as his father.

'Is it really okay for me to be here?'

Hye-yeon stood awkwardly, hands clasped together. When her legs gave out and she staggered, Eun-seong caught her by the back. 

His hand was still warm, but it was a mess, dotted with scabbed-over wounds. And it wasn’t just his hand. The corner of his lip was split and crusted with dried blood, and one cheek was slightly swollen. He looked like he’d been beaten badly elsewhere too. Was he really okay? 

She’d been worried when his glasses flew off, but thankfully, it seemed the lenses had shattered instead, leaving only a cut beneath his eye. His vision didn’t appear to be affected. 

Even so, seeing his battered face made Hye-yeon’s chest ache. It was the first time she’d ever worried this much over someone being hurt, and the pain in her chest was an even more unfamiliar feeling. 

More than anything, guilt sat beneath that emotion. Jungwon had said it was bound to happen someday, but the Eun-seong she knew wasn’t like this.

A boy who lived an extremely quiet, still life. Someone who didn’t even know how to get angry and only knew how to study. A model student. 

Yet lately, the Eun-seong she thought she knew kept shattering. The Eun-seong who seemed like he would be nothing but pure, spotless white, like plaster devoid of all humanity, had turned out to be far more colorful than she’d imagined. 

When they ran together through the alley on freshman orientation day, bathed in neon sign lights, he’d been rainbow-colored. When she saw him again during the day, wearing green checks, he looked green. When he clutched his stomach, laughing in front of the convenience store, he was blue. When he played the acoustic guitar and sang on stage, he was yellow. And when he spent the night entwined with her, bodies burning together, he was a pale white under the moonlight. 

Earlier, when he’d grabbed Hyunwoo by the collar and swung his fists mercilessly, he had been a blood-soaked red. That’s how Hye-yeon saw him. Those many colors made him seem more human to her. 

But how did he look through a parent’s eyes? Would they think their perfectly fine son was being ruined because of Hye-yeon? And if they told him to stop seeing her— 

Would she, like with her roommate, be slowly abandoned again and drift away from Eun-seong? She hated that thought. A quiet defiance began to sprout inside Hye-yeon. 

Normally, she was the type to think, someone comes, someone goes. She hated clinging to people who wanted to leave, acting pathetic like Hyunwoo. But… 

Right now, she didn’t want to be like that. She hadn’t understood why her gaze kept drifting to him since high school, but now she understood a little. Eun-seong was special. She’d been drawn to him because she wanted to keep seeing him shine. 

There had been moments when she’d resented him enough to wish he were dead, but whenever she looked at him, the emotion in her eyes was, more often than not—

'Admiration.’

"Yeah, well. When kids spend time together, things like this can happen.”

Eun-seong’s father continued his call. At first, the man had spoken to Hyunwoo’s father with a carefully measured tone, but when he noticed Eun-seong’s gaze, a subtle smile crept onto his lips. 

She couldn’t quite put it into words, but it was the expression of someone who had caught his son’s misbehavior and found it useful. Eyes curved with faint amusement. 

She already thought he was strange, but he felt different from other fathers Hye-yeon knew. If anything, he looked satisfied, as if pleased that Hye-yeon was the one corrupting his son. 

What was this? She’d expected him to glare at her and tell her never to see his son again. 

Instead, a gaze even more unpleasant slowly swept over her from head to toe. As if to say, it’s so fortunate for someone as cheap as you exists. The look made Hye-yeon feel dizzy, as though her clothes had been stripped off. Her fingertips went cold, and nausea rose in her chest. 

And then, Eun-seong grabbed her hand.

"Let’s go."

Warmth touched her hand, which had been trembling with cold, and her mind snapped back into focus. When she looked to the side, Eun-seong tilted his head. It meant, hurry up and follow me. Hye-yeon glanced at Eun-seong’s father and said,

"Your father—"

The man was still on the phone, standing in front of the car he’d arrived in. As the secretary who’d handed him the phone started the engine and prepared to leave, Eun-seong gently tugged on Hye-yeon’s hand, urging her on.

"Shouldn’t you at least say goodbye before we go?”

"I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about it."

Eun-seong led her off to the side, avoiding the secretary’s eyes, urging her to move. 

Under the bright lights in front of the police station, Hyeyeon trudged along, pulled by Eun-seong’s hand. You get a feeling about these things, and while that man had saved Eun-seong, he didn’t feel like an ally at all. 

So she decided to follow Eun-seong.

"Where are we going?”

"My place."

Eun-seong answered quietly, as if afraid someone might overhear. His bruised, swollen face looked straight at her.

“If you don’t want to, we can go wherever you want. I’ll take you."

The place I wanted to go. 

The first thing that came to mind was home, where my mother was. But there was no way I could go see her looking like this. 

For a moment, I thought about Jiwon’s place too. But if I showed up like this and her parents saw me, I would get the same sharp reaction. And more than anything… 

Eun-seong was hurt too. It was only because things had been settled now, but honestly, when Hyunwoo went flying earlier, it had felt a little satisfying. In a way, Eun-seong had been hurt in my place. Telling someone like that to go home alone weighed on my conscience. 

So Hye-yeon quietly nodded.

"Let’s go home."

To your place. 

At that, Eun-seong smiled faintly, without a sound. 

It was the first time I’d seen his face like this outside, without his glasses. Without them, he looked even more like his father. As if to hide that face, Eun-seong covered his chin with one hand and moved forward with heavy steps. 

That was when the secretary rushed over and blocked his path.

"The chairman would like to see you for a moment."

Eun-seong glared at him with a look the secretary had never seen before.

"Move.”

"Even so—”

"Manager Kim."

Eun-seong called him in a low voice.

"It’s me who’s always been exhausted, cleaning up after my father.”

"……”

"I don’t know how you found out and came here, but if he wants to brag about acting like a father for once, tell him not to do it to me. Tell him to go show his face to my mother instead."

The voice that had always been quiet and restrained was trembling. Hye-yeon’s gaze shifted to Eun-seong’s profile.

His cheek was shaking. He was trying not to show it, but the rage piled up inside him came through clearly. This was different from when he’d faced Hyunwoo. Anger that had been carefully stacked over a long time, fermenting and spreading like unshed tears, clouded his eyes. 

Seeing that, it felt like I was looking into Eun-seong for the first time. Even when a person says nothing, there is a tremor in the air. 

The wind brushed past Hye-yeon’s hand, chilled by the cold. Clutching tightly at Eun-seong’s collar, Hye-yeon bit down on her lip. This moment was suffocating. Just for a second, it felt like I understood a little of what kind of life Eun-seong had lived.

"……"

Manager Kim’s eyes wavered as he met Eun-seong’s gaze. 

Just as he was about to reluctantly clear a bit of the way, Eun-seong’s father, having finished his call, closed the distance in only a few steps. A loose, swaying stride, yet strangely fast. It didn’t take long for the father and son, similar in height, to face each other.

"She looks like So-jeong."

His tone carried a hint of laughter.

"My girl you used to flirt with back then."

It didn’t sound like a father talking to his son. It sounded hostile, like the way Hyunwoo spoke to Eun-seong. Hye-yeon tensed and grabbed Eun-seong’s arm. Eun-seong stepped in front of her, shielding her from his father’s gaze.

"What, you couldn’t steal my woman, so you went for someone who looks like her instead?”

"Don’t listen."

Eun-seong tried to pull Hye-yeon away, telling her to ignore the nonsense. 

Then the man suddenly hurled his phone at the son who passed by him without permission. 

Thud! 

With a heavy sound, the phone, harder than a brick, struck Eun-seong’s head and bounced off the ground. He was already injured. 

What kind of father throws a phone at the head of a son like that? Hye-yeon’s eyes trembled.

'Why…?’

Why was he like this? 

Startled, Hye-yeon turned back to look at the man. She couldn’t understand it. If a son caused trouble, a normal parent would worry first. 

But that man had arrived smiling as if he’d accomplished some revenge, scanned Hye-yeon’s face, then said she looked like his woman and threw something at his injured son. 

Eun-seong touched his head to check it. Blood streamed down from the wound. Watching that, Hye-yeon couldn’t make sense of anything. 

She was angry. So angry her head felt like it was spinning.

'How… can a parent be like that?'

In that moment, Hye-yeon understood Eun-seong. She understood perfectly why he’d stopped talking about his father in the car earlier. If that kind of person were my father, I would’ve done the same. 

Eun-seong, holding one hand to his forehead as if it hurt, tried to keep moving despite limping. That was when Hye-yeon shouted,

"Aren’t you supposed to worry about him first?"

She knew it was overstepping. But her emotions surged uncontrollably. 

Until now, she had never once considered Eun-seong’s position. First place was something to be defeated, not someone she needed to sympathize with. But when she really thought about it. Even coming in second had never been easy for Hye-yeon. 

So how hard must first place have been? The difference between ninety-eight and a hundred points looked small, but she knew better than anyone how enormous that gap was. It was hard enough for someone who used to score thirty to reach eighty, but the higher you climbed, the more grueling the path became. 

And Eun-seong had always done it. If he were her mother’s son, she would have been endlessly proud of him. She wouldn’t laugh and mock him like this over a single mistake. She was furious. Had Eun-seong always been treated like this?

Outstanding to everyone else, yet despised this much by the family closest to him? She couldn’t stand it. Just as her own efforts were precious and worthy of recognition, Eun-seong’s efforts deserved the same. Hye-yeon glared at the man with all her strength.

"If you’re human, that’s what you’re supposed to do. If your son is hurt, you should worry about him first."

The man laughed as if it were ridiculous.

"You’ve got quite a temper for such a little thing."

But Eun-seong grabbed Hye-yeon again.

"Let’s go. If you talk back, he’ll just get worse."

His voice was slightly choked.

"I don’t want you to see me like this."

He spoke quietly, as if he might cry at any moment. His voice wasn’t loud, but he sounded embarrassed. 

Honestly, that man’s smug grin made me want to lash out even more. But that wasn’t what Eun-seong wanted, his hand gripping mine tightly. 

Hye-yeon swallowed her resentment and turned away sharply. She took the lead, pulling Eun-seong’s arm as she headed out of the police station, muttering,

"It’s okay."

The you I believe in is strong and amazing. You’ll stay that way. You don’t need to shrink in front of someone like that. 

Not at all. 

* * * 

Hye-yeon and Eun-seong headed to the school parking lot first. Night had fully fallen. 

On the streets where the festival had ended, only a few people remained, taking down tents and wrapping things up. The loud music had all been shut off, and trucks carrying lighting equipment disappeared beyond the campus. 

In the cold evening breeze, the smell of greasy food faded, leaving only the lingering scent of fireworks. 

The two got out of the taxi and climbed into Eun-seong’s car without a word. Then, as promised earlier, they headed to Hye-yeon’s studio to pick up her things.

Click. 

When the lights came on in the dark room, they saw the bed collapsed into a mess, just like the two of them. Traces of rushing out after a quick wash in the morning were scattered everywhere. 

Seeing the scene, as if a bomb had gone off, made her laugh again in disbelief.

"Ha… how did everything end up such a mess?"

Hye-yeon sank down onto the floor. As she picked up the clothes scattered across the floor and stuffed them into her bag, Eun-seong fiddled with the banner taped to the front of the desk, the one that read,

"Bring Down Tae Eun-seong,"

and asked,

"Hye-yeon."

Looking utterly exhausted, Hye-yeon did not turn around.

"What.”

"Can I take this?"

Why would he want that? 

Before, even if Eun-seong’s thoughts puzzled her, she wouldn’t have asked. But now, for some reason, she wanted to. An absolute god may not need reasons for their actions. But humans each have their own circumstances.

"If you tell me why you want it."

Having finished packing, Hye-yeon stood up with her bag. 

The place was in ruins. Just like the cramped studio, the two of them, bodies covered in wounds, stared at each other in silence. 

Eun-seong’s gaze drifted downward, settling near Hye-yeon’s knees.

"Just because.”

"If you say 'just because,' I’m not giving it to you."

The words came out almost at the same time, as if she’d predicted his answer. 

At that, the man who couldn’t seem to win against Hye-yeon smiled faintly, tugged at the corner of his mouth, and took a breath. 

After a short pause, Eun-seong carefully picked out the words he’d been holding inside.

"I like that I’m such a big presence to you that you want to bring me down."

A moment of silence followed. It was probably the first time she’d heard Eun-seong’s honest feelings. And yet, it felt more unsettling than she’d expected. 

Hye-yeon covered her mouth with one hand.

“What is that? That’s weird.”

"I know."

Eun-seong accepted it politely, lowering his head.

"If it’s weird, you don’t have to give it to me.”

"No, I’ll give it to you. Take it. I can just make another one.”

"You’ll make another?"

Hye-yeon trotted over to the desk, stood on her toes, and peeled the banner off. Honestly, she’d written his name in red letters with slightly dubious intentions…

"Next time I’ll write it in black. Sorry."

Because she no longer wished for Eun-seong to be cursed and die by red letters. 

Having shown her own version of sincerity, Hye-yeon handed him the banner. Eun-seong looked down at it for a moment, then said,

"That’s not what I was asking.”

"Then what?”

"Do you still want to bring me down?"

Hye-yeon blinked once, then answered,

"Yeah."

Why ask something so obvious?

"I’m not giving up until I take first place.”

"Even if you’re dating me?”

"Dating and grades are separate things."

Frowning slightly, Hye-yeon shoved the bag and banner into his hands, telling him to carry something. 

Then she pulled out her suitcase to pack more clothes, muttering as she went,

"I’m not asking you to lose on purpose. It only means something if I beat you with my own ability. You know that, right?"

She emphasized the point just in case. Eun-seong obediently sat down in front of her and nodded.

"Yeah. I know."

As she stuffed her things into the suitcase, Hye-yeon suddenly paused and looked at him. 

His glasses were gone, and dried blood had clotted in his shaggy hair. Looking at him, she thought, you really are something.

It was the first time. The first time the first-place genius had looked pitiable to her.

"Honestly…"

She’d thought he had everything, but it turned out there were parts of him that were more pitiful than she’d imagined. 

Letting out a deep sigh that seemed to sink into the ground, Hye-yeon brushed his hair back with one hand. 

Startled by the sudden touch, the man flinched briefly, then deliberately leaned his injured face into her hand once his hair was pushed aside, smiling faintly.

"What?"

Somehow, even his injured face looked extravagant. Shaking her head in amazement, Hye-yeon said,

"No matter how I think about it, Eun-seong, you really look like a Hollywood star.”

"Am I… that handsome?"

Eun-seong’s eyes curved into crescents as he said it. His smiling eyes were undeniably attractive. He knew he was good-looking and was still asking. 

But that wasn’t what she meant. Shaking her head with a sympathetic look, Hye-yeon replied,

"No. Those guys are insanely handsome too, but then one day they suddenly grow beards."

Like you growing out your bangs.

"Oh. That’s what you meant?"

Eun-seong let out a hollow laugh.

"You’re really funny.”

"Probably only to you.”

"That’s because you only show that side to me. Actually, I knew back in high school that every time I walked past, you’d flip me off behind my back.”

"That’s a bit…"

Can we forget that? 

Hye-yeon, who had brushed his hair back to expose his forehead, let it fall again like a curtain, smiling awkwardly as she scrunched her brows. 

Yeah. Thinking about it, she’d been so obvious about paying attention to him all the time. 

There was no way he wouldn’t have noticed. Which meant he’d known everything and let it slide. In a way, that was impressive too.

If it were me, I’d have gotten angry and hated the person just as much, telling them to stop.

"Didn’t you hate me for doing that?"

At her question, Eun-seong twisted one eyebrow as if asking what she meant.

"I thought it was cute."

As he said that, his slightly tired eyes met hers. They quietly looked into each other’s eyes. 

In the stillness, the two of them stared at each other’s true selves for the first time. Bruises were already blooming red across Eun-seong’s injured face. As she traced them with her eyes, she wondered why this version of him felt more real than anything else. Hye-yeon’s small chest rose and fell as she breathed. 

Just standing there, feeling each other’s breaths in silence, the air gradually felt tighter, harder to breathe. Eun-seong brushed her sweat-damp hair back.

"I’m telling you because you don’t seem to know. You’re really cute."

Hye-yeon steadied her trembling breath, then looked straight into his dark eyes and asked,

"Not pretty?”

"Pretty goes without saying."

Hearing the compliment made her heart thump and flutter.

"And?"

She prompted him to continue. Eun-seong laughed.

"And?”

"Yeah.”

"Very smart.”

"That’s something everyone already knows."

She puffed out her cheeks, as if something everyone knew couldn’t count as praise. 

Eun-seong’s hand gently cupped her chin and cheek, holding them lightly. His eyes, looking at her with pure affection, seemed like they might drip with honey.

"That’s right. Smart enough that everyone knows. And if I add one more thing…"

He paused.

"You’re really brave."

You didn’t back down in front of my father earlier.

"No one ever did."

Not even… my mother.

As he said that, Eun-seong’s lips trembled. He forced a smile, but his face looked sad.

'So that’s how it was.'

That’s what it was. Everyone has a history. 

There are clumsy beginnings and painful pasts. It feels like they fade as you live on, but in truth, they never disappear. They stay inside a person, tormenting them quietly, endlessly. 

In Hye-yeon’s case, it was the report card that said first place. 

In Eun-seong’s case, it seemed to be his father. 

Looking at it now, Eun-seong didn’t have social anxiety or anything like that. He just… didn’t want to resemble his father. 

I would’ve felt the same. At least I had my mom. 

You probably had no one at all. You must’ve been lonely. You must’ve been sad. 

Thinking that, Hye-yeon lowered her gaze back to the luggage, her chest feeling heavy all over again. She’d never imagined she’d end up saying this many kind words to Eun-seong. Moving her hands over the suitcase, Hye-yeon spoke.

"Did you know?"

Eun-seong leaned his face back slightly, one eyebrow lifting. Avoiding his gaze, Hye-yeon muttered,

"When you smile, you have dimples. That man didn’t."

The moment she mentioned his father, she could see Eun-seong’s eyes dull slightly. But Hye-yeon didn’t stop.

"At first glance, I thought you two looked alike. But the more I look, the more differences there are."

No one had ever examined Eun-seong’s face this closely, so they probably hadn’t noticed. But Hye-yeon had just seen everything.

"You don’t look like your father."

It was true that they resembled each other.

"But you’re clearly different."

She thought for a moment, searching for more differences, then continued.

"You’re taller. Your shoulders are way broader too."

That man had been stocky, wide to the sides. Maybe it was hidden by the suit, but Eun-seong’s build was probably better overall. She hadn’t exactly inspected his body in detail, so she couldn’t say for sure, but still.

"Your voice is different, too. The way you talk. That man’s tone feels kind of snide, but you always speak calmly. You feel more reliable."

At that, Eun-seong’s expression didn’t change, but the banner in his hand crumpled slightly. 

The smile on his lips didn’t disappear. Instead, his lips trembled faintly. 

Through the part in his hair, the skin around his eyes reddened. His chin quivered so slightly it was barely noticeable, and instead of an answer, a small laugh slipped out.

"That’s nice.”

"……”

"I’ve never heard that before."

Hye-yeon gently rubbed his hair.

"How could you never hear something like that? How. Want me to keep going?"

Eun-seong nodded. He was twice her size, yet he sat there obediently, like a tamed wolf, letting her touch him. A strange sense of satisfaction welled up inside her.

"Okay. I’ll squeeze out some more."

Hye-yeon furrowed her brows, digging through her thoughts for more differences.

"When your father was on the phone earlier, I noticed your fingers are longer than his."

Eun-seong lifted his hand proudly for her to see. His five long fingers were prettier than most girls.

For a split second, a memory flashed through her mind of those long fingers thrusting deep inside her, making her ears burn red. She decided to set that aside for now. 

For the first time, Hye-yeon openly acknowledged Eun-seong’s strengths and poured out her praise.

"You’re way smarter, too."

Just seeing how even the aides his father brought along didn’t dismiss Eun-seong’s words made that clear. It meant the people around him recognized his worth. And as she praised Eun-seong like that, Hye-yeon felt her own heart soften for reasons she couldn’t quite explain. 

Partly because she could feel how much Eun-seong liked it. And partly because the nasty part of her that had stubbornly refused to acknowledge him, even if it meant dying, was slowly being erased.

“Eun-seong."

After chatting idly and finishing the packing, Hye-yeon called out quietly. The room was a mess, like a house on the brink of moving. 

They were only supposed to be gone for a few days during the renovation, but it still turned into a full load. 

The two of them groaned as they carried the luggage and stepped out into the hallway. At Hye-yeon’s call, Eun-seong turned around, both hands loaded with bags.

"No. I just felt like calling you."

She shoved him lightly, telling him to move the luggage already. Caught off guard, he stumbled out of the narrow entryway. Hye-yeon followed him outside. 

Click. 

The door to the studio closed. Their voices echoed through the hallway.

"I’m hungry. When we get to your place, should we order malatang?"

The narrow elevator doors that had been open slid shut. 

Soon, silence lingered in the corridor outside the darkened studio. 

* * * 

Spring was coming to an end. 

With Hyunwoo sent home due to poor condition, delivering the announcements fell to Jungwon, the vice department representative. He was writing the meeting points on the board while relaying what he’d picked up from the department office. 

In the slightly muggy weather, someone raised a hand.

"Forget all that. Aren’t they turning on the air conditioning?"

Jungwon waved his hand, dismissing the nonsense.

"Next opinion?"

They were apparently going on an MT trip right after summer break, but no one felt particularly excited. 

Hye-yeon was sitting between Eun-seong and Jiwon. It was evening after their major class ended, but Jiwon was more focused on exams than on scheduling department activities.

"What did we even do to already be at finals?"

She complained that they’d only had a few classes and already had exams, even though she didn’t know anything yet. Hye-yeon strongly agreed. 

Between the school festival, events, and the studio renovation, they’d been busy with everything. It was hard to believe finals were already here after just a few weeks. Jiwon vented resentfully.

“If it’s going to be like this, they should’ve just canceled class!"

Hye-yeon chimed in.

"Right. All they did was dump assignments on us!"

Jiwon collapsed forward onto the desk with a groan.

"Ugh, please save me…"

Who said being a college student was easy?

"Ughhh…"

Hye-yeon slumped over in the same way. From the front, Jungwon snapped his fingers sharply.

"Hey, you students there. Are you not paying attention to the meeting?”

"Why are you only picking on us?"

Jiwon grumbled as she lifted her head like a zombie. Hye-yeon also sat up, eyes half unfocused. 

Seeing Hye-yeon’s dazed head wobbling, Eun-seong smiled fondly and brushed her hair back.

"I told you not to do this outside."

Hye-yeon swatted his hand away with an annoyed look, but he didn’t care. He clearly wasn’t paying attention to the people around them. Eun-seong rested his chin on one hand and stared straight at Hye-yeon. They’d often met eyes during class, which had already been troublesome, and now was no different. 

Jungwon growled again.

"This is seriously irritating."

Under his constant pressure, Eun-seong and Hye-yeon straightened their backs and pretended to focus on the freshman meeting. But their eyes still kept sneaking glances at each other. 

At first, she’d told him not to, tapping him lightly, but then she slipped her hand down under the long lecture desk and intertwined her fingers with the hand resting on Eun-seong’s thigh. 

Her small hand fit neatly into his, and when he held it, it felt warm. A little sweaty too, maybe. 

Eun-seong naturally ran hot, so whenever they were together, Hye-yeon felt like her whole body warmed up. She’d joked before that he’d be great as a human heater in winter. 

As Jungwon kept scolding them for not participating, Hye-yeon raised her other hand and said,

"I think it’d be best if we just eat something simple like ramen on the last morning and head back.”

"Yeah, everyone’s tired. Stopping somewhere else would be a bad idea.”

Someone agreed with Hye-yeon’s opinion.

"Isn’t Hye-yeon’s hometown around here? Are you sure it’s okay not to go see it?”

"It’s pretty much the same as anywhere else when you actually go."

She answered Jungwon’s question casually, brushing it off. Each time she did, Eun-seong moved the hand he was holding beneath the desk. 

He lightly scratched her palm with his fingertips, teasing her, and the sensation was strange. A shiver ran up her spine. 

Why does having my palm tickled make my hair stand on end? Ugh….

'This is kind of dangerous.'

Hye-yeon’s ears turned red as she hurriedly tried to pull her hand away. But Eun-seong, gripping her tightly, didn’t let go. He glanced at her lazily, then pretended not to notice. 

Whenever Eun-seong did this, something inside her chest tickled. Like the sensation in your nose right before you sneeze, an irresistible urge suddenly surged up.

'Is this what dating is like…?'

Somewhere deep inside her heart, a spot she couldn’t scratch kept itching. Objectively speaking, their relationship still felt a bit awkward to be called love. But sitting pressed together like this, playing with each other’s hands, eating together, watching movies, going on drives to take photos, there probably wasn’t a better kind of relationship than this. 

Maybe because it was her first time dating, every day felt new and fascinating. Ever since she’d entered Eun-seong’s house, it felt like she was dreaming. 

A house larger than anything she’d ever seen in her life. It was amazing that he lived there alone, but instead of feeling real, it felt more like she was on a short trip. 

And naturally, all sorts of things happened too.

"Haa… Eun-seong."

The moment their eyes met, the two of them pressed their bodies together as if devouring each other, stripping off clothes and swallowing each other’s lips. 

They sucked on each other’s wet mouths, hurriedly shed their underwear, and whenever their eyes met, they tangled their bodies together anywhere. Even while sitting on the sofa with the TV on in the living room, Eun-seong’s hand teasing inside her panties would draw out soft moans from her.

"It feels… so, so good."

Unable to hold back at the sounds Hye-yeon made, Eun-seong yanked down her pajama shorts in one swift motion.

He thrust his stiffened length into her mercilessly, the stimulation so intense it brought tears to her eyes.

"Ah!"

Each time he pushed into her reddened insides, it felt different. At first there was some pain, but the more it went on, the better it felt in a new way.

"I like how you fall apart every time I touch you. I want you to cry more, begging for my dick.”

"Don’t… say, hng, things like that.”

"I want to fuck you forever, like this… fuck, you’re so tight."

Maybe because of that. The more their bodies tangled, the closer she felt to Eun-seong’s true self. It was clearly different from before. 

He no longer hid his grotesquely swelling desire, spilling it out as it was. And each time Hye-yeon saw Eun-seong fall apart because of her as they moved together, she felt no small amount of thrill bloom in her chest. At some point, Eun-seong no longer felt inhuman. 

She learned that, just like her, he loved sleeping in and staying up late to watch movies. A few days ago, sitting on the sofa and eating popcorn he’d fried himself, she’d asked,

"What’s your favorite movie?”

"Good Will Hunting?”

"You’re so transparent."

Hye-yeon laughed and shook her head. She couldn’t think of another movie that pierced through Eun-seong’s life quite like that one. She liked getting to know each other little by little like this.

"Wow, what is all this?"

The fridge was full of side dishes, but they were all untouched and brand new. Whenever Hye-yeon said she wanted to eat, rice and dishes would be laid out neatly in front of her.

"This is the first time I’ve eaten something this good that isn’t my mom’s cooking."

When Hye-yeon laughed, patting her round belly, Eun-seong smiled faintly as he did the dishes. 

After stuffing themselves with a feast, going into the same bathroom just to brush their teeth felt ridiculously funny. They made ugly faces at each other in the mirror, then burst into laughter, hurriedly rinsing their mouths when soap bubbles popped out. A bubble no bigger than a fingernail popped right in front of Eun-seong’s eyes, and she burst into giggles. 

For the first time, she realized that even ordinary daily life could be fun. Those few days felt like a vacation to Hye-yeon, and suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

'There must be people who live like this every day.’

Not studying, just laughing happily with the person they love.

'How happy must they be.'

She found herself wondering if that was why people got married. 

Of course, their circumstances were clearly different, and thinking of marriage with Eun-seong felt like a stretch… but still, maybe her understanding of people had broadened a bit. 

She started to understand why lyrics were so full of the word love, and why high school classmates she saw on social media wanted to show off their dating photos. It was just too much fun. 

Filling her days with things only the two of them could do, playing and enjoying themselves, time flew by in a blur of happiness. But that also made her worry that she was neglecting her studies.

'Is it okay for me to live this lazily?'

That unease reared its head. She’d never lived like this before. 

In fact, she’d completely forgotten about finals until Jiwon mentioned them. She used to manage upcoming schedules perfectly, but now everything felt like it was slowly getting tangled. 

She hadn’t finished any of the self-study she’d planned to complete before finals. Hye-yeon opened the new book file that came to mind because of Jiwon’s words. 

A faint sense of urgency crept in.

"We’re going to the library tomorrow, right?”

"Yeah.”

"Let’s look at this and solve it together tomorrow."

Jiwon rummaged through her bag and handed her new materials from the academy.

"Thanks."

What is this… did I play around too much? It’s only been a few days. Why do I feel like this? 

As she skimmed through it, maybe because she hadn’t studied much on her own lately, she couldn’t understand half of what it said. 

They said the first year was just the basics, and that real programming started in the upper years. If she was already like this, would she even be able to graduate? A slight sense of crisis began to settle in. 

The days with Eun-seong had been happy. Seeing Hye-yeon looking worriedly over the handout, Eun-seong noticed and quietly let go of her hand.

"Alright, let’s wrap it up here.”

The freshman meeting ended right on cue. As everyone stood up and gathered their things, bits of chatter broke out all around. 

Though the meeting had gone on under Jungwon’s lead, it seemed there were parts people weren’t satisfied with.

"Hey, but why haven’t we seen Choi Hyunwoo much lately?”

"What. That guy."

At someone’s muttering, another person jerked their chin toward Eun-seong. With a look that said, he’s the one. One person who caught on went,

"Ah,"

and nodded exaggeratedly.

"He was in our department?"

She could feel several classmates' gazes. As always, Eun-seong paid no attention, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"He’s super famous on YouTube too, that guy."

Even though people around them were whispering, Eun-seong acted as if he couldn’t hear a thing. At that volume, there was no way he didn’t hear it, yet he looked completely unfazed. 

She’d felt this before, but he was quiet and strong. No matter what anyone said, he waited for Hye-yeon with an expressionless gaze.

'Is it because his mental strength is that solid?'

This was something Hye-yon had always found strange. 

Wouldn’t most people feel stressed hearing others talk about them like this? Hyunwoo had. When rumors about what he’d done spread throughout the school, Hyunwoo had been busy sneaking glances around, watching people’s reactions. 

He used to be the loudest one as a department representative, but now look at him. He just went home. These days, he dumped almost everything on Jungwon except relaying announcements, leaving Jungwon with frustration piled up to the top of his head.

"Ugh, fuck."

As students streamed out of the lecture hall like a receding tide, Jungwon muttered curses while erasing the board. Hye-yeon walked out slowly with Eun-seong, David, and Jiwon, and her eyes met Jungwon’s.

"What?”

"Hang in there."

She clenched her fist in a small, half-hearted fighting gesture. She meant it as encouragement, seeing as he seemed to be suffering in Hyunwoo’s place, but Jungwon took it as teasing and snapped.

“Hey, don’t you get lost already?"

Like a flock of sheep being herded, Hye-yeon and the others spilled out of the lecture hall all at once. Catching each other before they tripped, they lined up in the hallway, reading the room. David shrugged his shoulders and said in English,

"Juwon, so sensitive."

Hye-yeon corrected him.

"It’s Jungwon."

David repeated it with the adjusted pronunciation.

"Junwon, so sensitive."

When Hye-yeon was about to correct him again, Eun-seong whispered by her ear,

"It’s no use. He’ll never fix it."

With a sly smile, he winked one eye and draped an arm over David’s shoulder. 

Watching Eun-seong walk ahead like that, Hye-yeon blinked and paused for a moment to catch her breath. In the past, just seeing Eun-seong walking ahead of her like that had annoyed her. 

Now, she suddenly realized it didn’t anymore. Adjusting the bag slipping off her shoulder, Hye-yeon followed after her friends, who were already some distance ahead.

"Hey, wait up!"

Soon, Jiwon and David widened the space between them, letting Hye-yeon slip in. Linking arms with Jiwon, she asked with a smile,

"Want to go eat tteokbokki?"

* * * 

The place where spring flowers had fallen away. 

Summer greenery was deepening across campus. In the old forest in front of the engineering building, cicadas were starting to cry. 

After just a few days, the weather had turned hot, and students in short sleeves complained about the heat, squawking like cicadas themselves.

"Ugh! It’s so hot!"

Even though summer hadn’t fully begun, a lecture hall packed with people was like a steamer. If the air conditioning came on even a little late, everyone complained they couldn’t focus on class. The professor, wiping sweat with a handkerchief at the podium, said,

"Just a moment. I should check with the department office."

The air conditioner wasn’t working properly, to the point that class couldn’t even start.

It was the last class before finals. While the general education class was delayed, Hye-yeon checked her phone. 

She saw a text from her mother asking if she was doing well, along with a missed call from the landlord. It was probably about the renovation. 

Stepping out into the hallway, Hye-yeon called back, and the landlord answered right away.

"Ah, Hye-yeon. I meant to go check after the construction, but I was overseas and couldn’t contact you. I just got back.”

"Ah, yes."

She’d been in constant contact with the landlord by text. 

The renovation had been finished last week, so she and Eun-seong had gone back together to move her things in. As much as she wanted to stay glued together and not separate, Eun-seong’s house was, for Hye-yeon, ultimately just a vacation. 

Work and personal life should be kept separate. Eun-seong hadn’t shown any disappointment, quietly helping her pack and move her things. Watching him put her favorite side dishes into the fridge while he was at it, she’d thought he was a remarkably considerate person. 

Anyway, the landlord went on about how a drawer had been added under the bed, explaining that he’d added extra storage for an additional fee and really wanted to highlight that.

"Young students need closets because they care about fashion, you know. So I added it."

Maybe because he’d been traveling abroad and now had more time, his tone wasn’t as irritable as before. 

In fact, he kept adding unnecessary chatter, dragging out the call. In the distance, she saw the teaching assistant approaching. Seeing the new remote control in his hand, it looked like the situation would be resolved soon. 

After thanking the landlord, Hye-yeon spoke politely.

"I’m sorry, but I think I need to get back to class now."

When she asked for his understanding, the landlord replied,

"Oh, of course, of course, class is important,"

then casually added one last thing.

"But by the way. You didn’t tell your mom, did you?"

Just as she was about to step back into the classroom, Hye-yeon stopped. The moment her mother was mentioned, her heart seemed to drop.

"Why?"

When she hesitated, the landlord stammered.

"Well, it’s nothing. She contacted me while I was overseas. I told her you were staying at a friend’s place. I don’t know where, just said a friend’s. Didn’t know which one.”

"Ah."

Hye-yeon answered briefly. After a short silence, the landlord asked.

“I didn’t mess up, did I?"

Hye-yeon paused, then came back to her senses and shook her head.

"No, it’s fine."

Something had happened, and she was the one who hadn’t said anything. She didn’t know whether her mother had come by during the renovation, but she hadn’t wanted to worry her unnecessarily. 

Still, Hye-yeon felt uneasy. What would she say if her mother asked about the renovation? If she asked where she’d been all that time?

'I haven’t even told her I have a boyfriend yet…'

She could lie and say she’d been staying at Jiwon’s place, but that didn’t sit well either.

'Did Mom contact him because she knows something?'

Ending the call, Hye-yeon stared blankly at her phone. 

[Are you doing well?] 

Hearing the professor’s microphone from inside, she hurried back into the lecture hall. As the closed air vents opened, cool air mixed with a musty smell spread through the room, and class was already underway. 

After sitting down, Hye-yeon checked her messages again under the desk. She tapped out a reply beneath the desk. 

[Yeah. Finals are coming up soon.] 

As if she’d been waiting, her mother replied immediately. 

[You’ll be busy again.] 

It wasn’t again. She’d already been busy. After her conversation with Jiwon, the sense of urgency had hit Hye-yeon, and she’d jumped straight into preparing for finals. 

While they were together, Eun-seong lounged around so much that she couldn’t tell when he ever studied at all. Was this what it meant to be a genius? If an ordinary person spent time exactly like he did, they probably wouldn’t even manage second place on the next exam, let alone first. 

Someone might say, In college, they don’t even rank students in order anyway, so what does a score like that matter? But to Hye-yeon, it mattered. 

Just once. It only had to be once.

‘I want to win.'

Hye-yeon clenched her phone and bit her lip. Her whole face felt like it was trembling with tension. 

Then, as her eyes landed on a new message, which had just arrived, the stiffness melted away. 

[Mom got promoted. I got two days of vacation.] 

The message continued, accompanied by a cute emoji she’d never seen her mother use before. 

[I’m going to come cook for you during finals too.] 

Reading that, the strength drained from Hye-yeon’s shoulders, and a soft laugh slipped out. After what had happened during midterms, it seemed her mother had been waiting for finals this whole time. 

It had been an outburst born of pressure, a childish moment she couldn’t handle. But her mother had remembered every word Hye-yeon said back then and was now taking care of her because of it. 

Her heart churned. It hurt, somehow. While Hye-yeon had been worrying about so many other things, had her mother been thinking only about this? The guilt hit her all at once. 

As she stared at the message, another thought surfaced.

'Why did I want to be first place in the first place?'

When she thought of the happiest moment, it went back to elementary school. She’d come home with a perfect score on a dictation test, and her mother had smiled. 

Brightly, as she patted Hye-yeon’s head. After that, it was always the same. Every time Hye-yeon showed her a stellar report card, her mother rejoiced without holding back, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and even shedding tears, as if to say she’d believed in her all along.

"I’m not crying because I’m sad. I’m crying because I’m really happy."

Unlike Hye-yeon, who was quiet and stiff, her mother had a soft heart. Small in stature, she looked thin and weak from a distance. There were more than a few times Hye-yeon had been shocked to see her lift heavy grocery bags with ease.

"How are you so strong, Mom?"

She was smaller than Hye-yeon, yet stronger when it came to life. A husband who disappeared, leaving behind nothing but debt. A young daughter who depended on her alone. 

Her mother cried by herself every night, but when morning came and the sun rose, she always became strong again, like a different person.

"Now, this part will be on the exam, so make sure to mark it."

Listening to the professor speak from the podium, Hye-yeon continued taking notes with a calm face.

She was used to being ranked. That’s how she’d been taught at school, and that’s what society always said too. 

You had to climb higher. One day, she’d been called into the principal’s office and heard something like this.

"If you push just a bit more, you could aim for an even higher school. Even scholarships. Considering your family situation, I mean."

Even when she achieved something, it was never easily acknowledged. 

When she took first place in her class, the teachers wanted her to be first in the entire school. When she became first in the school, they wanted her to place first in national math competitions. 

At first, she thought getting into a top university would be the end of it, but here, it was just the beginning of another competition. From what she heard from seniors, grades weren’t everything anymore. 

If you wanted to start a business, many people made money and went to Silicon Valley. For that, English was essential, and studying abroad or attending academies was taken for granted. 

There was no end to getting ahead of others. She thought that having climbed this far would be enough, but whenever she looked up, the stairs stretched endlessly into the sky. 

Sometimes, just seeing that made it hard to breathe. Some people invested their allowance in stocks from a young age. Some seniors had formed teams early on and successfully developed commercial apps. 

Hye-yeon used to think that to be better than others, you had to keep competing, run faster, climb higher, and keep going longer. And to do that, she had to surpass Eun-seong first. If she couldn’t clear that hurdle, how could she ever climb a bigger mountain? 

She’d believed that only by being first could she achieve everything, and at some point, that belief took hold of her completely. When she did her absolute best and still couldn’t win, she hated herself fiercely for not being able to become the best. She kept comparing herself to Eun-seong. 

When she couldn’t leap as high as she wanted, she’d get so angry she’d tremble with frustration.

'But you know…'

Thinking back, the beginning of all that had been for someone she loved. So that her mother would smile. Because when her mother smiled, she was happy. Hye-yeon glanced at the message her mother had sent, opened beside her book.

'So what really matters is…'

As class ended and the lecture hall emptied, Hye-yeon made a call. 

Thinking about it, she’d contacted the landlord so easily when she had something to say. Why hadn’t she done the same with her mother? How long had it been since she’d called first? 

Even the ringtone had changed. A song by a famous trot singer played, a ballad that had been popular lately.

She walked toward the library, where she was supposed to meet Eun-seong after class, talking on the phone. Soon, her mother’s soft voice came through.

"Hello?"

Hye-yeon smiled as she spoke.

"Congratulations on your promotion, Mom."