“Did you hear? Eun-seong got a full scholarship."

Why? Why is he still here? Why didn’t that bastard go abroad? 

There are plenty of engineering universities besides this one. Hye-yeon stared blankly at Tae Eun-seong as he chatted with their classmates in front of the lecture hall. 

Even in a plain black T-shirt, an engineering-student-style checkered shirt, and jeans, his tall frame, broad shoulders, and solid build stood out. 

Watching him converse fluently in English with an international student made the emptiness in her chest feel even deeper.

"Why… why didn’t Eun-seong go abroad?"

She wished he would just disappear from her sight. Hyunwoo, the friend who had been watching Hye-yeon’s hollow gaze, spoke up.

"Abroad? I heard he lived overseas during the vacation."

“No, not that. I mean, why didn’t he just go to school there altogether? What am I supposed to do about my scholarship?"

“You could work part-time or tutor."

Hye-yeon covered her face with both hands and let out a long sigh.

"Then I’d have less time to study."

“Or ask your mom to help you out just for freshman year, until you settle in."

Hyunwoo lightly tapped her arm, telling her she was overthinking it, but comfort from someone wearing a branded shirt was utterly unhelpful.

Sure, she had received a partial scholarship, even if it wasn’t full. But Seoul housing prices weren’t just "prices."

The freshman dorms were fiercely competitive, and she’d been rejected. Her mother had already emptied their savings to pay the deposit for a tiny studio, and each required major textbook cost over $20. 

And that wasn’t all. Back when she wore a uniform every day, she hadn’t noticed, but now, having to change into different casual clothes daily was a problem too. She had no clothes. Not in the sense of having a closet full, but nothing appealing, but truly nothing she could properly wear.

Today, after digging through the pile of clothes she’d brought from home, she put on a T-shirt she’d bought in middle school, only to find it uncomfortably tight across her chest.

"Ha…"

Even her jeans felt stuffy, clinging to her legs as if she were sweating.

'I should start looking for tutoring jobs first.'

With a frustrated bite to her lip, Hye-yeon slumped forward onto her desk. She vaguely felt the gazes of Hyunwoo and a few classmates who were on their phones drifting toward her, but she assumed they were just looking and didn’t bother reacting. 

It was just before the lecture began. Eun-seong returned from the vending machines, drink in hand, chatting in English with his Korean-American friend, and sat down behind Hyeyeon. 

Back in high school, he’d acted like he had a shield up, barely responding no matter who talked to him. What was with him today? 

Then, out of nowhere, he tapped her chair lightly with his finger and called out to her.

"Hye-yeon."

A boy calling her name so gently. The low vibration of his voice sent a chill from the tips of her ears through her entire body. 

Since when did his voice sound that good? Was he trying to tell her class was about to start? 

No, since when were they close enough for that? Still lying face-down on her desk, Hye-yeon blinked her lashes in confusion.

"……"

All kinds of assumptions and thoughts raced through her mind. All through senior year, even when Eun-seong was in sight, she’d treated him like an invisible man. 

And now, starting today, he was acting like a perfectly normal friend. It was almost laughable. We’re close, yet far. 

No, extremely, extremely far.

"That’s what it feels like, looking from diagonally behind."

At his calm words reaching her again, Hye-yeon felt like she’d taken a heavy punch to the heart. Her breath felt tight, her heart pounding violently. She was awake, yet on the verge of panic.

'What is this feeling?'

Trying not to be overwhelmed by the unfamiliar sensation, Hye-yeon quickly pushed herself upright and glanced back with cool, guarded eyes. Then she answered curtly, on purpose.

“What?"

“I can see everything."

“Huh?"

Unable to read his intention, Hye-yeon frowned in confusion. Eun-seong, still in the same composed tone, held out the checkered shirt he’d taken off and smiled as if whispering.

"From behind, I can see your underwear."

Ah. Ah…! 

Aah. Ugh… 

In less than a second, Hye-yeon’s face turned a vivid red, like it might burst. 

How was she supposed to describe this feeling? So embarrassed she couldn’t say a word, she snatched Eun-seong’s shirt and tied it around her waist. 

Her jeans were probably too tight, and her top too short, so when she sat slumped over, something must have shown.

'Please, let it be just a little.'

Hye-yeon felt like crying from sheer humiliation. 

* * * 

Why did she keep showing Eun-seong such embarrassing sides of herself? 

She was going crazy inside, but since there was no way to turn back time, she just chewed hard on her lip.

"Hye-yeon. You’re going to the freshman welcome party today, right?"

Hyunwoo and the others, exhausted from three straight hours of lectures, gathered around her.

"If you’re going right after, want to move together?"

“They seat people in order of arrival, so it’s easier if you sit with us."

“You’re not going to wait until Jiwon comes, are you? Sounds like she might not show up again."

With her classmates surrounding her, she couldn’t see what was behind them. Being short, Hye-yeon stood up with her bag and rose slightly onto her toes. 

She caught a glimpse of the back of Eun-seong’s head as he left the lecture hall first.

'I need to return it.'

The shirt in her hand hung awkwardly. It had looked ordinary at a glance, but touching it, the fabric felt soft and sturdy. 

More than that… it seemed like a branded piece.

"That’s Tae Eun-seong’s, isn’t it?"

When she trudged out of the lecture hall without managing to return it, Hyunwoo shot her a dissatisfied look.

"If it’s awkward for you, want me to return it for you?"

“No. I should return it myself."

It was only natural for the borrower to give it back. Earlier, she’d hesitated to call his name loudly in front of so many people. 

Returning it with a simple thank-you wasn’t a problem at all. And besides.

"Wouldn’t it look stranger if you returned it? I borrowed it."

As she said this matter-of-factly while walking down the crowded hallway with her friends, the atmosphere around them cooled oddly. 

Hyunwoo’s face did the same. His ferret-like eyes, stretched long and narrow, froze for a moment, then curved again into a crescent, as if carefully arranged.

"…Well. If that’s how you feel, then fine."

Was he upset? Over something like this? 

Watching Hyunwoo’s strangely cold profile, Hye-yeon found herself growing cautious. Among the friends she’d made in college, he was the only one she’d truly opened up to, so she wondered if she’d offended him somehow. 

Had she drawn the line too firmly?

'Or is it because I took Tae Eun-seong’s shirt?'

Hmm. Considering she and Hyunwoo had talked about Eun-seong before, maybe it did seem odd that she’d suddenly ended up with his clothes.

'But is that really something to be upset about?'

Tilting her head to the side, Hye-yon walked briskly between Hyunwoo and the others, thinking how difficult human relationships still were. 

Looking back, she’d grown close to Hyunwoo ever since they first talked at the entrance ceremony. Anyone who looked at the gender ratio in computer engineering would understand. There weren’t many options for friends if you filtered by gender, so Hye-yeon had become close to Hyunwoo without any resistance. 

Hyunwoo was tall and had an attractive face. When he smiled, his eyes curved, making him seem likable. And his personality was bright and energetic to top it off. From the moment he enrolled, he was so outgoing that he was immediately pushed into the role of class representative. Probably a massive extrovert. 

Compared to the quiet Eun-seong, he was overwhelmingly lively, always inserting himself into this group and that group without exception. When someone like that followed her around saying,

"I heard you’re second place? Let’s be friends,"

Hye-yeon couldn’t help but feel fond of Hyunwoo. Because… He remembered second place.

Compared to first place, second was only separated by a tiny decimal difference, yet it was treated like an old man shoved into a back room. 

When people talked about competitions and mentioned everything except the grand prize, second place felt like that leftover. 

Ordinary. Forgettable. 

But holding onto that ordinary-looking spot wasn’t easy at all, and Hye-yeon had protected that second place almost like her life, imagining that someday she would become first. And the first person to truly acknowledge that bitter feeling, after she came to college, was Hyunwoo.

"So you’ve been competing with Tae Eun-seong for four years now?"

“Yeah. That’s why I really want to win this time."

When everyone else praised only Eun-seong as amazing, Hyunwoo alone stood on Hye-yeon’s side. 

Even when, over lunch, she let slip just a tiny bit, just a fragment, of the inferiority complex she felt toward Eun-seong, he was the same.

"I’ll seriously cheer for you. No, I’ll support you like crazy."

“What? How are you going to do that?"

“I’m the class rep, remember? It’s nothing big, but if there’s any information going around the department, I’ll tell you first instead of Tae Eunseong."

At that, Hye-yeon let out a small snort of laughter and teased him.

"The class rep is going to pick and choose who to give information to?"

“Hey, not like that. I’ll just tell you ten minutes earlier."

“Only ten minutes?"

“Only ten minutes? That’s huge. Hey. In math, how many problems can you solve in ten minutes? Don’t underestimate ten minutes."

Bickering like that as they walked through the campus where new shoots were sprouting, she thought, Ah, so this is college life. 

A full spring, where pale green leaves densely filled the once-bare branches and cast leaf-shaped shadows across faces. She had come to college with a capitalist mindset, chasing a higher salary in the distant future, but it was enjoyable in its own way. She even hoped that if things kept going well like this, she could shake off this rough, prickly feeling toward Eun-seong and become a decent adult. 

* * * 

The freshman welcome party. 

She had been hanging out with Hyunwoo and the group of so-called popular students in the department, then stepped away for a moment. Since they had reserved group seating, at least sixty upperclassmen and freshmen were gathered there. 

They had skipped a proper meal and came straight to the bar, filling their stomachs with side dishes as they drank, so everyone was getting drunk at the speed of a high-speed train. Some even skipped the food altogether and got wasted quickly, seniors and classmates alike clinging together and whispering among themselves. 

‘Everyone’s pretty drunk.'

Hye-yeon hadn’t noticed while she was among them, but when she caught a glimpse of herself in the bathroom mirror, her face was flushed. 

She stumbled into the restroom, and it took longer than expected to fix herself up and come back out. Her jeans were so tight they wouldn’t pull up easily, and she kept tucking her T-shirt in and pulling it out again, trying to make sure her underwear didn’t show like before. 

She had only done that much, but she was sweating heavily from the heat.

"Hoo."

In the end, no matter what she did, it felt awkward, so she went back to wearing her T-shirt loose like before.

'If I sit like this, it’ll just be uncomfortable. I should grab my bag and leave.'

She couldn’t stop thinking about it. She’d exposed herself unintentionally because of her clothes. 

Besides Eun-seong, who else might have seen? Come to think of it, had Hyunwoo, who’d been beside her the whole time, noticed? Maybe he’d seen it but felt too awkward to say anything?

'If Hyunwoo were a girl, he’d have told me without worrying about it…'

Hye-yeon was shaking the water off her hands as she headed back to the table when it happened.

"A-young’s favorite random game! What game! Game, start!"

“Apartment, apartment!"

The bar was quite noisy. It was louder than a karaoke room, enough to make her ears ring and her head spin. 

Blinking her sleepy, hazy eyes, Hye-yeon searched for her seat. 

And yet… it was strange. 

Did people really have instincts like this? No matter how much she tried to convince herself it wasn’t the case, that instinct was almost never wrong, especially with things like this. 

They had probably started talking after seeing Eun-seong’s shirt left at the table.

"Looks like he’s already only hanging out with those overseas rich kids. Doesn’t he give off a bad vibe? Feels like his insides are pitch-black."

“Exactly. He’s tall as hell, though. What, like over 190?"

“Fuck, no wonder. He looks like a total loser walking around, but for some reason, he catches your eye. Short guys are out here crying, damn."

The crude mix of curses and jokes made Hye-yeon uncomfortable, but she didn’t stop walking. She had her things with her, and Hyunwoo was there. But then.

"Hey, weren’t you getting on well with Hye-yeon, Hyunwoo? Why the hell is Tae Eun-seong suddenly butting in?"

“Yeah. You’re not dating, but you already slept together, right?"

At that, her steps stopped cold. She hid behind one of the table pillars and replayed the words in her head. 

What did they just say? Who slept with whom? The moment it sank in, it felt like someone had smashed a sledgehammer into her head.

"Man, earlier I saw her sides showing a bit, and it drove me crazy. Why is her skin so damn pale? She looks way more solid than that dance major girl from before."

One guy poked at the peach on the fruit platter with his fork, laughing nastily, while another brought both hands to his own chest, mimicking a groping motion. 

“And her chest. Jesus. It’s insane. This right here, wow. Massive. Her body’s skinny, but only there she’s got weight. Did you see it earlier? Looked like her clothes were about to burst."

“You bastard. Hah."

How often have they had conversations like this? 

Seeing the other classmates giggling with flushed faces, it clearly wasn’t a one- or two-time thing. 

She had thought they just bonded over games and drinks because they were guys. She never imagined they built camaraderie in such a vile way. 

“Ha."

The shock sobered Hye-yeon instantly. 

For a moment, she wished this were a dream, but as the alcohol wore off, anger began to boil up inside her. 

The worst of them all was Choi Hyunwoo. 

“Hey. Cut it out."

She had expected him to stop them, but Hyunwoo just smiled mildly, pretending to be decent. 

“You know how much I hate it when people mess with the girls around me."

The fried seaweed roll that snapped cleanly in his hand looked pitiful. 

Hye-yeon remembered the dating story Hyunwoo had told her just yesterday. 

He’d been passionately in love with a second-year dance major and said he really wanted things to go well, so she’d been cheering him on. He had even asked her what kind of gift would be good for a confession, and she’d helped him pick one out. 

That same friend now said,

“I mean, I only practiced with Hye-yeon because of the dance major noona. But, well… It was nice."

“Oooh!"

“But that’s it. Maybe because she only studies, she doesn’t know how to have fun. She’s boring."

Those words stabbed deepest into Hye-yeon’s chest. 

It felt like someone was scraping her heart with a metal spoon, digging out ice cream. Her feelings were gouged without drawing blood, torn to shreds in a single scoop. 

She’d lived a hard life and had arrogantly believed that no matter what happened in college, she’d be able to endure it. 

But realizing that her college life had already been ruined right at the start made tears surge up uncontrollably. It wasn’t even her fault, yet her stomach burned, and nausea rose. And still, the words didn’t stop.

“So that’s why she clings to you and follows you around? Doesn’t she think you’re dating?"

“Yeah, maybe."

“She’s probably waiting to go home with you today, too. What are you gonna do, Hye-yeon? She must be expecting a lot."

“But isn’t it the dance department’s turn today?"

“What? He already screwed the dance department, too?"

The guys, who looked like creepy sewer rats, stared up at Hyunwoo with glittering, excited eyes. 

He looked like a hero, crowned by nothing more than the fact that he’d rolled around in bed with a woman. 

His smug mouth, flaring nostrils, and the hands that kept fiddling with snacks all said the same thing. 

He felt amazing. 

“Fuck, you lucky bastard. If you’ve had your fill, let go already. Even if it’s not us, aren’t there tons of guys drooling over Hye-yeon?"

“That’s exactly why I can’t let go. I told you. I hate it when people touch what’s mine.”

Whether someone got hurt or not. 

“Ugh, asshole."

Along with their anger, scraps of tissue flew at Hyunwoo, but he accepted them gladly, as if they were a shower of flower petals. 

The sly, fox-like smile in his eyes no longer looked innocent. 

‘I really misjudged him. Completely.'

She must have been starved for relationships after keeping her distance from people and doing nothing but studying all through high school. 

Maybe she’d wanted a friend, a companion who would offer warm words without ulterior motives, even if it wasn’t something measurable like grades. 

‘I expected too much.'

All of this came from the hollowness born of a vicious inferiority complex. 

If she couldn’t even acknowledge herself and kept comparing herself to Eun-seong, how was she supposed to stay sane? 

She grew more and more pathologically jealous of Eun-seong, to the point where just being in the same space as him drove her crazy. 

So she’d tried to open up to Hyunwoo just a little, to get empathy and feel relieved. 

Was that kind of sincere conversation not enough? 

‘Then what am I supposed to do?'

How was she supposed to fill this emptiness? 

Hye-yeon clenched both fists and closed her eyes. 

‘If I step in now, they’ll say I’ve gone crazy, won’t they?'

Seniors and freshmen were all here. If she caused a scene, she’d be branded as a weirdo. 

On top of that, Hyunwoo was the class representative, and there were plenty of seniors who already knew him. 

He had more close friends here than she did, so cutting him off right now would only put her at a disadvantage. 

“…Bastard."

Muttering the curse under her breath, Hye-yeon strode toward the table. 

No matter what was said now, the best move was to pretend she hadn’t heard anything. 

If it had been said to her face, that would be one thing. But overhearing things said behind her back and making an issue of it would only make her look ridiculous here. 

This was a heavily male-dominated group. 

Guys like that tended to band together tightly on issues like this. Even when they knew it was wrong, they fooled themselves into thinking it was okay as long as they were part of the majority. 

So, she would go back, but she wouldn’t smile. 

She would never cater to their moods. 

“Oh, Hye-yeon. You’re back? You were in the bathroom for a while."

Seeing the leering gaze sweep over her from head to toe, Hye-yeon let out a hollow laugh. As she gathered her bag, she said clearly, 

“Yeah. I got a call from my boyfriend."

“Boyfriend?"

At her words, everyone’s gaze snapped to Hyunwoo, as if asking what the hell this was about. 

* * *

Hyunwoo looked flustered by his friends'

sudden stares, as if worried his lie might be exposed. 

“You had a boyfriend?"

“Yeah. I did. You just didn’t know."

Meeting Hyunwoo’s eyes, Hye-yeon answered coldly and picked up Eun-seong’s shirt that had been resting on her bag. 

“You’re leaving already?"

Her friends tried to stop her, sounding disappointed, but Hye-yeon turned away as if she hadn’t heard them. They could have their fun or not. 

Just as she was about to leave without even bothering to return their farewells, a black T-shirt blocked her path. 

“Oh, Tae Eun-seong!"

It was Eun-seong, who had been sitting at a different table the entire welcome party. The shadow cast by the man standing in front of her felt especially dark and long, the pressure so heavy she nearly forgot how to walk. 

Her breath caught. 

“What brings you here? Don’t tell me you came to drink with us."

Hyunwoo snapped irritably, as if Eun-seong had stepped onto forbidden ground. 

Ignoring everything else, Eun-seong looked down at Hye-yeon and spoke quietly. 

“I came to get my shirt."

Only now did she realize how tall he was. Back then, she’d only seen him sitting, so she hadn’t noticed. Has he grown more since winter? 

And thinking of the handsome face hidden behind that shaggy lamb’s-wool hair and his changed glasses made her heart lurch again, like sudden motion sickness. 
Anyone who saw Eun-seong’s real face would probably feel this way. Just like she did now. 

‘How is he handsome and kind too?'

She’d been wondering how to return the shirt anyway. 

“……"

Honestly, he was annoying, but she was grateful. Especially that he’d shown up at a moment like this. 

“Eun-seong."

If she handed over the shirt, he’d leave. And yet, she felt a petty urge not to return it, like a woodcutter hiding a fairy’s winged clothes. 

Because once he left, she felt like she’d be left behind alone, humiliated like the naked emperor. 

“Well…"

All she had to say was that something had gotten on it and she’d wash it before returning it. 

Hye-yeon hesitated, then clamped her lips shut. The unfamiliar desire to keep him there, even by lying, unsettled her. 

Was it because they were high school classmates? 

Maybe because, compared to the new faces she’d met recently, she knew Eun-seong was someone she could trust, someone who wasn’t two-faced. 

Maybe it was just that having him nearby made her feel a little safer. 

That was all. 

Hye-yeon frowned slightly, holding back tears. 

A few seconds stretched like minutes. She fidgeted with the shirt in her hands like a security blanket. Just as she felt Eun-seong’s gaze grow heavier, 

“What are you doing?"

Eun-seong naturally took the shirt from her arm and jerked his chin. 

“We said we’d go together. Hurry up and lead the way."

In that instant, Hye-yeon’s eyes widened, flashing white. A heart that had rusted from disuse lurched back into motion. 

Eun-seong helping her was an opportunity. A chance to shatter the trust she’d built with Hyunwoo and pay him back in kind. 

Her mind raced. Maybe the alcohol made her bolder, but she linked her arm through Eun-seong’s and smiled brightly. 

“Mm-hm!"

She answered cheerfully. Judging by how Hyunwoo’s expression darkened in real time, it seemed she’d made the right choice. 

* * * 

With everyone watching, Hye-yeon walked outside, arm in arm with Eun-seong. The moment they were out, she let go and took two quick steps away. 

Since it was spring and he’d been wearing a short-sleeved T-shirt, the feel of his bare skin lingered vividly on her arm, but she pretended not to notice. 

‘His arm was pretty firm…'

For some reason, the spring breeze felt muggy. 

On the university street lined with bars, groups of young people stood smoking, neon signs flashing brightly. 

And among them stood Eun-seong, upright and expressionless. 

Her face flushed pink, Hye-yeon averted her gaze and spoke. 

“Uh, anyway, thanks. For helping me."

She quickly shoved the shirt into Eun-seong’s hands, probably stammering as she did. 

“I’ll get going now."

She turned around, but her body moved stiffly, like a broken wooden doll. Was it because she knew Eun-seong was watching her from behind? 

She wanted to walk away confidently, without caring, but it wasn’t as easy as she’d hoped. 

What was Eun-seong thinking right now? 

Was he thinking something like, What a strange girl? 

‘I shouldn’t have linked arms with him.'

He might not have liked it. 

‘What if he thinks I was flirting?'

Before Hye-yeon could even take a few steps while drowning in regret, a calm voice cut through the noisy commotion from behind. 

“Hye-yeon."

At the hesitant sound of her name, she slowly turned around.

The man clutching the shirt in his veined hand closed the distance in just two long strides. 

Close. 

Very close, just like in the dreams Hye-yeon used to have. 

Then he tugged her arm and pulled her right in front of him. 

The distance between their bodies shrank so fast it felt like they might collide at any second. 

Her heart jolted. 

She could feel his breath near her ear. 

“Wh, what are you…!"

“Shh."

Was this déjà vu? 

Her heart raced. Flustered by how suddenly close he was, Hye-yeon’s face flushed red, her lips parting uselessly, hanging open like decoration. 

She knew this scene.

According to her dreams, this was the part where Eun-seong said being handsome was a secret, then leaned in for a heated kiss. 

“Gasp!"

Without realizing it, Hye-yeon stiffened her lips and looked up, only for Eun-seong’s scent to wash over her. 

A deep, woody fragrance mixed with a fresh hint of fruit. 

Looking down at her, Eun-seong whispered softly by her ear. 

“Behind you. Hyunwoo."

“Ah."

“Just keep walking straight. Until we get out of the alley."

Hye-yeon nodded obediently and followed Eun-seong’s lead.

For some reason, he knew the area well, navigating narrow backstreets with ease. 

Hyunwoo really had come out to check if the two of them had actually left together. 

Pretending to smoke with his friends, his eyes were clearly fixed in their direction. 

Annoyed by that, Hye-yeon clung even tighter to Eun-seong’s arm as they moved. The fabric of his shirt wrinkled under her grip, but the firm solidity beneath her hand reassured her that he was right there beside her. 

Turning the corner, they entered a narrow, dark alley. 

A group of rough-looking men squatting and smoking whistled at them mockingly. 

“Hey. Where you headed? Going to fuck?”

What was wrong with their heads? 

No matter how drunk you were, how could you say something like that to strangers? 

Maybe it was environmental pollution. There are way too many mutants these days.

Already irritated by the filthy comment, Hye-yeon frowned sharply. 

She was about to stop and say something when Eun-seong covered both her ears with his hands and kept walking. 

“Don’t listen to that. It’ll rot your ears."

“I already heard it."

And even like this… she could still hear everything. 

“Still."

Hye-yeon let out a small, incredulous laugh, and the thug smoking behind them bristled. 

“Hey, what the fuck did you just say while laughing at us? What’s rotten? My dick rotten? You saying I’m small, too? I just broke up, you little pieces of shit…!"

She hadn’t said any of that. 

It felt like when all you see is what’s on your mind, and all you hear is dick. 

“He seems really drunk."

At Hye-yeon’s mutter, Eun-seong let out a low sigh. 

“Ha.”

It was the first time she’d ever seen him sigh, and for some reason it sent a shiver down her spine. 

‘Why does he look cool even when he sighs?'

Hye-yeon wondered if something was wrong with her vision. Or maybe the hardware was fine, and it was her brain’s operating system that had malfunctioned. Why? Was this also because of environmental pollution? 

“Hey, you little fuckers, you not coming over here?"

The alley, thick with stale cigarette smoke, stretched long and dark. If they turned left at the far end, it looked like they’d reach an old restaurant district. Sensing the two of them trying to get away, the thug they’d just met yelled sharply. 

“Hey! What department are you in!"

What was this, the military?

He looked offended, like a private who’d dared to run when a sergeant called him. 

Two of the thugs stubbed out their cigarettes and started running toward them. 

This was a first for Hye-yeon. 

Being chased by thugs. 

Her life had been nothing but school, home, school, home, or school, dorm, school, dorm on repeat. 

She’d never imagined something like this would happen to her. 

Eun-seong, who had been briskly walking without caring what was shouted behind them, was the same. 

He was the type who didn’t flinch no matter what happened, like a robot, so she’d expected that. 

“Hey, you fucking bitch!"

For some reason, that curse made him stop. 

“Wait."

Eun-seong turned back with a resolute face, like he was about to confront them. 

But Hye-yeon, who didn’t want this thrilling game of tag to end, grabbed Eun-seong by the collar and yanked him forward. 

“Huh? Wait, I said wait."

“What wait? Don’t act tough for no reason and run! I can’t fight!"

“Why do you think I’d be the one fighting?"

“If you fight, then I fight too, idiot!"

“…You’re the first woman to call me an idiot."

“Shut up! Run, already!"

As she sped up, Hye-yeon slapped Eun-seong’s arm. 

The impact stung her hand instead, his muscle hard as stone from training. 

Judging by the athletic stats he’d shown back in school, he could probably take down those two scrawny guys without a problem. 

But Hye-yeon didn’t want that. 

This was too fun. 

She wanted to keep running. 

“Hey, you assholes! Stop! I’ve got something to say!"

The thugs chased them even harder once they started running, as if their pride was on the line. 

But Hye-yeon and Eun-seong had built their stamina by running for the sake of studying. 

After dinner every evening, they’d run around the track, silently betting on who would reach the finish line first more times than they could count. 

This time too, Hye-yeon ran at full speed. 

One strap of her backpack, hanging like a turtle shell on her back, snapped clean off. 

As it slipped, Eun-seong grabbed it with one hand, took it from her, and kept running. 

Sweat fell like tears, flying backward into the past. 

Her hair, tied high, came loose and flew wildly, long strands sticking to her sweaty face and blocking her vision. 

But she couldn’t stop. 

Hot breaths filled her to the top of her head, drying her lips raw. 

They passed through a market alley that looked like it had once been bustling and emerged into a bright, lively street. 

Neon signs swayed like karaoke mirror balls, dyeing their sweat-soaked hair in vivid colors. 

“Haa, hak, haa…"

Her breathing was so ragged she could taste metal in her throat. 

Her heart pounded so hard it felt like it was slamming at her temples. 

Her mouth was bone-dry, thirst raging inside her, and even wetting her cracked lips with her tongue did nothing to ease the tight pain in her chest. 

And yet, strangely, she felt incredible. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the rush of freedom she’d never felt before, but it washed over her all at once, like cold water dumped over her head. The spring breeze that had felt stifling earlier now felt cool, like mountain air from the countryside. More than anything, Hye-yeon had won. For the first time. For some reason, Eun-seong had kept running behind her the whole way. The destination had been one she’d decided on alone, but the moment they entered a new alley, the two of them stopped in the same place, as if by agreement. 

“Haa, ha…"

To be honest, they’d kept running like mad even after the thugs were long out of sight. 

Eun-seong raised his hand as if to say something, then lowered it again and simply focused on catching his breath. 

Leaning back against the wall of an old building, he tilted his head up, swept his bangs back to wipe the sweat away, and took off his glasses. 

With a soft clink, his sweat-damp face reflected the neon lights, glowing with vivid life. 

Long eyelashes. 

Deeply lidded eyes. 

The absurdly handsome face, tinged with melancholy, slammed straight into Hye-yeon’s vision. 

A clear bead of sweat slipped down along his sharply carved jawline and dropped. Another trail ran down his face and disappeared beside his prominent Adam’s apple. 

Hye-yeon swallowed hard. 

This was insane. 

The presence he gave off was heavier than any man she had ever seen. 

The black shirt, clinging to him with sweat, revealed the outline of his solid body as if it were almost peeled bare. That swimsuit-like silhouette felt indecent, and without realizing it, Hye-yeon averted her gaze and spoke. 

“I won. The race."

“Ha."

Eun-seong gently bit his red lips and smiled faintly. 

“Is that really what matters right now?"

His tone, sounding genuinely baffled, hit Hye-yeon with a fresh shock. 

So he could be sarcastic too. 

It was the moment she realized just how sacred a being Eun-seong had been inside her all this time. Thinking about it now, he had never been a god to begin with. 
Hye-yeon nodded. 

“You’re right."

Maybe, just maybe. 

By deifying Eun-seong in her heart and treating him like a sacred, untouchable being, hadn’t her feelings rotted this badly? 

If you really looked closely, he might just be an ordinary person. Not all that perfect. 

Someone who eats, uses the bathroom, gets irritated, just like everyone else. 

If she had truly known Eun-seong from the start, could she have escaped this suffocating swamp of inferiority? 

If she hadn’t just known him superficially, but had become real friends, close enough to know every hidden corner of his heart.

Then maybe a day like today, where she leaned on someone like Hyunwoo only to be betrayed, would never have happened. 

Hye-yeon’s thoughts surged like a flood. 

Was it because she’d won the race? She felt filled with confidence, like she could do anything right now. 

She had beaten Eun-seong. 

That Eun-seong. 

She was so happy she felt like she might cry. And at that moment, the little devil inside her whispered. 

Hey, Hye-yeon. Are you really going to end it like this? Are you satisfied with winning just once? Eun-seong even tried to stop midway. This wasn’t a completely fair victory. 

Hye-yeon, who had been cooling her flushed cheeks with the back of her hand, let her eyes shine sharply.

'Right…?'

If she seduced Eun-seong properly like this, wouldn’t she be able to win many more times in the future? 

Winning again, and again, building up that sense of accomplishment, maybe someday she could finally shake off the dark feelings of the past and take first place.

'Ah.'

Just imagining it made her happy. 

Hye-yeon became convinced she couldn’t let this joy be a one-time thing. 

“Eun-seong."

It was the first time she had ever spoken his name out loud. 

As she stepped closer, Eun-seong, still breathless with sweat not yet dry, looked at her with a crooked stare, as if wondering what she was about to say. 

Hye-yeon smiled brightly and brushed back her own sweat-soaked hair, meeting his handsome face head-on.

"Do you want to go off the rails with me?"

Eun-seong, who had put his glasses back on and lowered his bangs again, asked back in the voice one might use with a scammer.

"Off the rails?”

"Yeah.”

"What kind of off the rails?"

His voice had grown heavier, so foreign it felt like he belonged to a different world. Probably cognitive dissonance. 

But since Hye-yeon intended to prove that he was human, not a god, she ignored it and continued.

"We couldn’t even play around in high school. We just sat at our desks and studied all the time. We can’t spend our college years boring too.”

"……”

"Honestly, what Hyunwoo said earlier, about me being boring, was kind of a shock."

A good lie always had a bit of truth mixed in, like seasoning in soy sauce.

"So.”

"So.”

"……”

"Can you drink well?"

Hye-yeon stepped closer, eyes sparkling, and asked. 

She could feel Eun-seong growing uncomfortable, but once Hye-yeon made up her mind, she never turned back. 

Once she set a goal, she always crossed the finish line. That was her rule in life.

'If it doesn’t work, keep going until it does.'

Back in middle school, she had even tied a headband around her head to study. When it came to persistence, she was confident she ranked near the top anywhere. 

Hye-yeon clasped her hands together and looked up at Eun-seong with pleading eyes, like a cat in boots. 

Maybe the sweat had finally cooled, because Eun-seong let out a small laugh.

"I thought…"

“How many bottles can you drink? Is your tolerance high?”

"Just go.”

"Don’t tell me you’re good at drinking too. Come on, tell me. How much can you handle? If you drink better than me, I think I’ll be disappointed. Is it a secret? Can’t you just tell me, just me?”

"I said go. I’ll tell you there."

He jerked his chin forward and smiled faintly.

'He’s… smiling?'

She hadn’t realized because he usually had no expression, but when he smiled, faint dimples formed on both cheeks.

'So he has dimples.'

Hye-yeon stored away another newly discovered fact and took the bag with the broken strap from Eun-seong’s hands, hugging it to her chest as she led the way. 

* * *

"Boss, two bottles of soju, please!"

Hye-yeon successfully lured Eun-seong into a random bar where the side dishes were cheap. 

Four pieces of fried chicken wings for $3. 

There weren’t many pieces, but that was fine. The important thing wasn’t the food; it was the alcohol.

In the cramped bar packed with tiny tables that barely fit two people, fast-beat music pounded the floor. 

Eun-seong, sitting on the outer chair, opened the menu and hesitated slightly.

"Two bottles of soju out of nowhere? We didn’t even order food.”

"Don’t you know each person gets one bottle?”

"What are we eating, then?”

"Order whatever. I don’t care."

Hye-yeon crossed her arms and grinned confidently. To be honest, she hadn’t been drinking long, but from the few times she’d drunk with Hyunwoo, she usually outlasted most guys. 

She had never gotten so drunk that someone had to carry her, and she had never caused trouble. On the other hand, she’d vaguely heard that Eun-seong wasn’t good with alcohol and tended to avoid drinking gatherings.

'Hehehe.'

The fact that he still hadn’t answered her question about drinking meant it was probably true. 

Which meant that even if he acted tough now, once the drinking started, there was a good chance Hye-yeon would win.

'Beating Tae Eun-seong twice in one day!'

She felt like she could change her birthday to today.

"Drink."

Hye-yeon filled Eun-seong’s glass to the brim with soju. 

She poured so much that the liquid bulged over the rim. She pretended to tap it playfully and laughed mischievously.

"Wow, surface tension!"

She raised her voice on purpose, worried he might refuse to drink, trying to lift the mood. 

Clapping her hands to hype him up, Hye-yeon soon blinked slowly and stared quietly at the man across from her.

"Not drinking?"

Eun-seong rested his chin on the table, looking at her like he was wondering what she was up to, then let out another soft laugh.

"You’re going to spill it.”

"If it spills, it’s fine. Think of it as disinfecting!"

Just drink it already. 

Hye-yeon smiled and cursed him with her eyes, and Eun-seong lifted the glass and downed it in one go.

"Wow, you drink well. You’re good at drinking too, Eun-seong?"

Hye-yeon chimed in and poured him a second glass. Now it really began. 

She truly wanted to win and planned to go all out, and Eun-seong didn’t bother objecting to her enthusiasm.

"Drink! Cheers!"

As the alcohol crept up, Hye-yeon’s cheeks grew redder and redder, and the two glasses kept emptying.

"Cheeers! Drink, hurry. Hey, don’t dodge it. Don’t dodge it, Tae Eun-seong!"

When her vision started to blur, she even poured only half a glass at times. 

And that made Hye-yeon angry.

"Hey, don’t go easy on me! Pour it properly! There’s no mercy in a match."

She tilted the bottle into her own glass, only for the liquor to overflow and spill onto her thigh.

"Ugh… pour it right, you idiot! What are you doing, letting it spill like that, what a waste!"

She laughed weakly, yelling at Eun-seong like a grumpy neighbor. 

The sharp scent of alcohol stabbed her nose, numbing her head every time she breathed in and out, spreading dizzyingly.

"But it’s fine. I’m in a good mood today, so I’ll let it slide."

Using the handkerchief Eun-seong offered, she wiped the liquor from her thigh, then leaned back against the wall and let out a small hiccup. 

Her vision grew hazier, drowsiness washing over her like eternity. 

The alcohol weighed down her head, and through it all, Eun-seong’s voice came through clearly, as if amplified.

"Shouldn’t you be feeling bad… after something like that?"

She was drunk, on the verge of losing consciousness. 

If she drank just a little more, she felt like she could beat Eun-seong. She couldn’t give up here. 

Just a few more minutes. 

Just a moment with these heavy eyelids. Wouldn’t it feel better if she closed them for five seconds? 

Eyes closed, Hye-yeon muttered,

"I was feeling bad… but being with you made it better again."

Drunk and leaning comfortably back, she smacked her lips, then smiled again. 

Eun-seong let out another sigh-like laugh and filled his glass to the brim.

"You really…"

Gurgle, gurgle.

The clear sound of soju filling the glass shook the noisy spring night.

"Annoyingly pretty."

Through her blurred vision, she saw the man down his soju in one shot.

Staring at his prominent neckline, Hye-yeon slipped into darkness, thinking that no matter how she looked at it, that neck was a work of art. 

* * * 

Pitch-black night. 

The dream flowed violently, like a stream swollen with rainwater. 

The black space that had always been monochrome now twisted and moved in vivid colors, as if drenched in paint. 

Even standing still, the ground warped as if an earthquake had struck, making it hard to keep her balance.

'That’s strange. Did my inner ear break or something?'

To keep herself steady in this unreal world, Hye-yeon threw her arms around Eun-seong’s neck and clung tightly. 

Her top rolled up, fully exposing her navel, but she didn’t even think to fix it. 

She was just cold, and there was a warm human heater beside her, so she wanted to hold on. 

Her soft breasts were squashed against Eun-seong’s chest. 

A low voice sounded immediately.

"Ha, fuck. This is driving me crazy."

Today’s dream felt different. 

When the door opened, her back hit the wall of a dark room with no lights on. 

Eun-seong, holding his glasses in one hand, tilted her chin and pressed his lips to hers. 

Whether because of the alcohol or not, heat surged up abruptly.

When their lips met, the heavy scent of alcohol filled their noses, so strong it felt like it would ignite if someone lit a lighter. 

Every time he bit down softly on her moist, pliant lips, it tasted sweet.

"Uh, Eun-seong, ah…"

Unlike usual, Eun-seong devoured her lips greedily. 

Kissing him in dreams was nothing new, but today felt completely different. 

It was far too intense, almost too real.

"Stick out your tongue."

Soaked in heat, her belly burned.

Ears burning red, Hye-yeon obediently opened her saliva-filled mouth and stuck out her tongue.

"You listen well."

He laughed softly, then thrust out his tongue as if to devour hers, wrapping around her wet tongue. 

The intense suction felt like he was going to rip out the root of her tongue, and Hye-yeon clung to him with a low moan.

"Haah…!"

Each time she let out a broken moan, his sharply pointed tongue pushed deep into her open mouth, scratching teasingly against her palate. 

The tender membrane being scraped sent itchy sensations through her, her stomach tightening and her toes curling.

It felt like her heart was set ablaze, her insides burning fiercely. 

Her saliva-soaked lips swelled, drooling clear fluid.

'This is strange. This feels… just like the real thing.'

But she didn’t want to stop. 

Her head was foggy, her whole body burning out of control, and that made her move her hips instinctively, craving him desperately.

"D-don’t stop, Eun-seong…"

With tears pooled in her heated eyes, Hye-yeon licked his lips like candy.

"Haah."

As if losing his mind, the man let out a hot breath and slid his hand under her T-shirt, pushing aside her bra and grabbing her soft breast firmly.

"Hah!"

It was the first time anyone had ever grabbed her chest so hard, and a cry-like moan slipped out. 

As if frustrated by touching her through layers, he yanked her T-shirt and bra up over her chest in one motion. 

The old, tight bra was pulled up uncomfortably, pinning the clothes in place. 

Below it, her pale breasts hung free, fully exposed, along with her soft pink nipples. The man who usually looked indifferent fixed a lewd gaze on her swaying chest, and Hye-yeon tried to cover herself.

"Ha, ah, don’t… don’t look…"

Nodding as if he understood, he pulled her hands down and, instead of looking, stuck out his tongue and gently licked up the fully hardened nipple. 

Wet saliva soaked the nipple, and with a cool sensation, a bolt of goosebumps shot straight down her spine.

"Hii!"

The strange sensation rattled her brain and left her a mess.

The fact that it wasn’t just anyone, but the man she’d hated and despaired over for three years, playing with her like this, stirred up even heavier emotions. 

It was a feeling she’d always had in dreams. 

At the same time as thinking she shouldn’t let this happen, another useless thought surged like a tsunami, wishing she would just be completely conquered by him.
 
His lips closed over her full breast again, sucking like a baby, then his wet tongue emerged, flicking teasingly over her nipple like a rattlesnake. 

While it was her breast being tormented, she felt herself growing wet below, and Hye-yeon twisted her hips, crushing Eun-seong’s head down.

"Ah, ahh! Ah, st-stop… hng!"

With a loud pop, he sucked her breast hard, then lifted his head and laughed coldly, as if incredulous. 

That smile felt like an evil god’s, terrifying and cruel, poison spreading through her entire body.

"Didn’t you say I could do whatever I wanted?”

"I, I didn’t… haah!"

She couldn’t remember, but since it was a dream, she accepted it, struggling to receive his hot, pressing kiss again. 

Soon, he lifted Hye-yeon up, spreading her legs, and carried her toward the bed. 

Thrown down onto the familiar bed, she lay sprawled, still wearing tight jeans, her chest fully exposed.

"You know? You’re wet here. Your jeans changed color."

Straddling her, the man pressed down firmly on the sensitive spot over her jeans. 

Under the thick fabric, the damp, ticklish area twitched, peeking through.

"So shameless. Jeong Hye-yeon."

With a single touch of his hand, the button of her uncomfortable jeans came undone, and she could breathe more easily.

"Haa."

Staring up at the familiar ceiling, Hye-yeon panted hot breaths in a daze. Then he pressed firmly between her thighs over her jeans and gave an order.

"Take them off."

Blinking through her blurred vision, Hye-yeon lifted her hips as instructed and fumbled with both hands to peel off the tight jeans.

Maybe because she was sweating so much, the denim clung stubbornly to her skin. She groaned as she worked it down, and her underwear rolled down with it.

"Ha… seriously. Who told you to take off your panties, too?"

Letting out a troubled sigh, he gently brushed back her damp hair as he hovered over her.

"What am I supposed to do with you?"

His low voice resonated heavily in the space. Then he traced a path downward, pressing his lips lightly to her forehead, her cheek, the bridge of her nose, her lips, her neckline, and her chest, until he reached her flat stomach. 

As if leaving burn marks, he swept down hotly from top to bottom. When Hye-yeon shook her head, saying it was dirty, he spread her legs apart and buried his face between them.

“So filthy. Jeong Hye-yeon."

With a single movement of his hand, the button of her tight jeans came undone, and she could finally breathe.

"Haa…"

Staring up at the familiar ceiling, Hye-yeon panted hot breaths, her eyes hazy. Then he pressed firmly between her thighs over the denim and gave a command.

"Take them off."

Blinking through her blurred vision, Hye-yeon lifted her hips and fumbled with both hands, peeling off the tight jeans as ordered. 

Maybe because she was drenched in sweat, the denim clung stubbornly to her skin. She groaned as she tugged them down, and her panties rolled off along with them. 

“Ha… seriously. Who told you to take off your underwear, too?"

He sighed, sounding troubled, and gently brushed back her damp hair as he hovered above her.

"What am I supposed to do with you?"

His low voice echoed thickly through the space. Then he traced a slow path downward, pressing his lips lightly to her forehead, her cheek, the bridge of her nose, her lips, her neckline, and her chest, until he reached her flat stomach. 

As if branding her with heat, he swept down from top to bottom. When Hye-yeon shook her head, muttering that it was dirty, he spread her legs apart and buried his face between them.

"Haah… maybe because I’m sweaty, but the smell is insane, Hye-yeon."

The man inhaled deeply like a pervert, then extended his tongue and slowly licked up the sticky, soaked slickness below. 

From the narrow entrance that had never been parted before to the tiny, bean-like clitoris, everything was crushed under his tongue, sparks flashing white in her vision.

"Ha… it’s so obscene and pretty."

His thick voice reverberated around the room like an echoing bathhouse. 

The air was saturated with an indescribable humidity, and with each lightning-strike wave of pleasure he delivered, it felt like her breath might slip away. 

Her already unstable mind seemed to short-circuit completely. Her lips turned pale, her throat rasped, and her body trembled.

"Hah, ha, ah!"

But his tongue and hands did not stop.

How had she never realized that someone who excelled at everything would be devastatingly good in bed, too? 

Hye-yeon twisted her waist like a fish, gasping, then sobbing, then breaking into hoarse sounds as she fell apart. Her long hair, tangled with sweat, spilled everywhere. Each time his tongue dug relentlessly into the hidden peak inside her, it felt like fireworks she had kept buried deep within were exploding one after another.

"I, I love it… love it! Ha, u, uaaah!"

She felt like she was losing her mind. 

Shame didn’t matter anymore. She couldn’t hold back, clutching his clothes as if she meant to tear them apart. 

She must have pulled too hard. 

Rip.

"Hah, ah!"

Without realizing it, Hye-yeon clamped her thighs tightly around his head, sobbing. It was pure instinct. 

Soon, he crawled up over her, licking his lips slick with her wetness, staring down at her with a gaze blazing with arousal. 

Below, his fingers traced slow circles over her soaked entrance, glossy and ready as if it would split open at any second. 

“Now we can start the real game, right?"

Her entire body was so sensitive from the heat that even his breath brushing her skin made her shoulders flinch. 

Tears clinging to her lashes, Hye-yeon opened her arms toward him. He pulled off her T-shirt and pressed his hot body against hers, showering her with kisses. 

It felt like an empty place inside her was finally being filled. 

The complete attention she had always craved, yet never received from anyone, poured into her all at once. 

For some reason, tears welled up hot in her eyes. 

All her life, Hye-yeon had wanted to be first. 

She hated Eun-seong for standing in her way. And yet, whenever desire surged inside her, she always wanted his gaze. 

A nameless sorrow swelled up in her chest.

"Eun-seong."

Did I really want to be first? 

Or did I just desperately need someone’s attention? 

Hot tears spilled, dotting the pillowcase. 

Her lips dried quickly, and in the room heavy with the scent of alcohol, soft sniffles echoed.

"I’m… I’m so tired.”

"Of what?"

He wiped her tears away with his fingers and whispered gently by her ear.

"What’s making you tired?"

His voice was low, quiet, and kind. 

Unlike Hye-yeon, who burned unsteadily like a flame about to go out, he was like a bright electronic sign, shining steadily in one place. 

These feelings were fleeting, like a puddle after rain that would dry once the sun rose, but from deep inside, Hye-yeon poured out her desperate longing.

"You know… I…"

She thought she said something. 

But unfortunately, that was the last thing Hye-yeon remembered.

She had already felt too much, her strength completely drained. Like seaweed washed up on the shore, she sagged limply, blinking sleepheavy eyes before losing consciousness. 

* * * 

The next day. 

When the alarm rang, she sluggishly reached across the bed and grabbed her phone from the charger. 

Turning off the alarm out of habit, Hye-yeon sat up and looked around with her hair in a mess. 

Her familiar studio apartment. Among the clothes scattered everywhere from the night before, when she’d complained about having nothing to wear, her jeans and T-shirt from yesterday were neatly folded.

"……"

I even slept without my underwear. 

Hye-yeon figured it made sense. She had an extremely explicit dream last night. 

Dirty dreams about Eun-seong were nothing new at this point. 

Her memory of how she got home was patchy, but she’d walked home on her own after drinking plenty of times before. Maybe she’d just left Eun-seong behind and gone home alone again.

'I always do that when I’m sleepy.'

There had been times when people she was drinking with got worried because she disappeared while they were in the bathroom. She assumed this was just another case of that habit.

'So… did I beat Eun-seong yesterday?'

She couldn’t remember clearly. 

Did Eun-seong get home safely? He didn’t go looking for her for a long time, did he?

Thinking about it, she and Eun-seong didn’t share any classes today.

Then maybe she should send him a message. 

She’d acted pretty close with him yesterday, and if she pretended not to know him today and ruined whatever they’d built, she might not get another chance to beat him. 

Nine a.m. 

Hye-yeon sat up straight and unblocked Eun-seong’s profile on her messenger. 

She remembered blocking it because she hated the default profile. Just a white silhouette on a blue background. It was still the default now.

'But… what do I even text him?'

She honestly couldn’t remember how close they’d gotten or what she’d said last night. She vaguely remembered being desperate to beat him, but… 

Then the alarm rang again. 

Bzzzt. Bzzzt. 

As a popup appeared saying, 'Get ready before you’re late for class,' Hye-yeon jumped up, washed her hair, and hurried to get ready. 

She had a lot of overlapping classes with Hyunwoo, and the thought of seeing him later annoyed her a bit. 

But as she plotted ways to beat Eun-seong again, her mood lifted considerably.

'What should I compete in today?'

Humming to herself, Hye-yeon adjusted her bag and headed out.